


The Snake in a Pot of Gold that Ends with a Rainbow

by MistyBeethoven, mosriteluv



Category: Agatha Christie's Poirot (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/M, Fae & Fairies, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Style, Fractured Fairy Tale, Games, House Cleaning, Leprechauns, Masturbation, Missionary Position, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Rainbows, Sex, St. Patrick's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23191525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosriteluv/pseuds/mosriteluv
Summary: In Ireland a very long time ago, a certain Englishman named Arthur Hastings suffers from a cluttered house, a boring day and a sleepless night. When he finds a Belgian leprechaun at the end of the rainbow one day, though, the round little man gives him a pot of gold and a solution in the form of a fairy named Miss Lemon.However, the red headed fairy has a rather unique way of being replenished after a hard day's work...
Relationships: Arthur Hastings & Felicity Lemon & Hercule Poirot, Arthur Hastings & Hercule Poirot, Arthur Hastings/Felicity Lemon, Felicity Lemon & Hercule Poirot
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy St. Patrick's Day! :D <3

Arthur Hastings, an Englishman, had been residing in Ireland for only a few months but already he was finding it hard to adapt to the various customs and traditions. For instance, they kept insisting that he kiss a large stone in order to get lucky and he had to keep declining and quickly running away before they forced him into it.

Finding his small cottage a horrible mess and his life terribly dull, he was swiftly becoming irritable and bored. Many days he spent digging small holes in the yard around his cottage and trying to hit rocks into them with any large stick he could find; only they never went in to his dismay nor would they roll particularly well. When this became too tiresome he tried to race around in a wheelbarrow but having nobody to help push him it was hard work indeed.

All of these problems were making him feel overly tired and his sleeps were often restless. Each morning, infact, found him feeling as if he had not slept at all!

One day, he was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of a rainbow after a quick sun shower.

Suddenly Arthur Hastings began to sing a song he had heard once before somewhere:

"Up above the streets and houses  
Rainbow climbing high  
Everyone can see it smiling over the sky  
Paint the whole world with a Rainbow..."

Feeling in a jolly good mood, the man began to chase after it to find the fabled pot of gold at its end.

To his great surprise, the tall, lean man did not find any pot of gold but rather a rotund little bald man in a green suit and hat and with a twirly moustache of black.

" _Bonjour mon ami!_ " the small, round fellow greeted.

"Why hello!" Arthur said in return. "I didn't know that leprechauns could be french!"

"Belgian! I am Beligian!" the now severely irritated sprite declared. "And the Irish do not hold the stocks on _la chance_."

Seeing the look of disappointment on Hastings' face, the Belgian leprechaun asked the man what was bothering him.

"Oh," Arthur said, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "I was sort of hoping for a pot of gold or the like."

The leprechaun looked smugly wise. "There are sometimes more useful things than gold. What is your requirement?"

"My requirement?" Hastings repeated.

"Your need!" the once again annoyed Belgian snapped. "For instance you look _tres fatigue_!"

"Oh that!" Arthur said. "Well my house is a mess and I'm right bored out of my mind. I hardly feel rested at all! Do you know what will help me with it?"

" _Certainement_!" the leprechaun announced. "Miss Lemon!"

"Yes Poirot?" Hastings heard a feminine voice say and watched in surprise as an equally small red headed woman emerged from behind the rainbow. She was quite attractive and Arthur found himself quite smitten with her and her pale skin and bright blue eyes.

"Go with this man," Poirot simply instructed. "You are to be his pot of gold."

The little woman, pouted and scowled. She cast at Hastings a withering look but still followed him back to his cottage.

Upon entering the place, she gasped at the mess and started to immediately clean up. Arthur was amazed at Miss Lemon's speed and efficiency. When this was over, he took her outside to show her his game of holes and sticks.

"They never go in, I'm afraid," he said with a sigh.

Hastings then watched in amazement as she bustled about collecting just the right sized stones for him to use. To his amazement they were smooth so they rolled perfectly and were small enough to fall in.

"How come I never spotted these?" he asked.

"Oh," she said. "Because men don't seem to have rocks these days. I promise to help you find yours!"

Arthur Hastings noticed there was a mischievous little glint contained in the woman's sparkly eyes of blue.

Next he showed her the wheelbarrow. "Hop in," she said, holding it up.

"But I'm too big!" Arthur exclaimed.

"I can do it!" she said sternly.

And to his surprise she did just that. "You are a real humdinger!" Arthur Hastings exclaimed.

"Oh I'll make your dinger hum for sure!" she stated with an impish laugh.

Later that night, Hastings was shocked when the red head appeared in his bedroom wearing absolutely nothing!

"You're naked!" he exclaimed, holding the bedsheet closer to him and feeling a stirring down below in his groin.

He liked her small, pale gobs of flesh. Watching the way they jiggled about on her way to the bed made his own long, thick piece of flesh start to grow bigger and rise.

The woman grabbed a hold of his blanket and tore it off, revealing his penis, already raised up straight.

"Oh goody!" she exclaimed. "You _do_ have a snake!"

For modesty sake, Arthur tried to shield his clothed privates from the hungry looking female's crazed eyes but she leapt on the bed. Her clutching birdlike fingers lifted up the bottom of his nightshirt with the same zeal as when she had hurled the sheet from off of his bed. In the ensuing force from her movement his hands were thrown off as well and he looked down his torso to see his penis standing up, red and swollen. Her fingers went to the cock and started to run up and down its length.

"Ohhhh!" he said in delighted bliss, unable to stop himself.

"A real live snake!" Miss Lemon said. "They told me St. Patrick had gotten rid of them in all of Ireland."

"That's a myth," the Englishman stated, still revelling in the way she was pumping his penis.

"No that's a snake! I'm the Miss!" she said and then brought her lips to the twitching penis' head.

Arthur's head went back at first from feeling her pretty lips working him as she continued to rub his shaft with her hands. Then he lowered it again so that he could watch her as she tasted him. Her tongue flicked his opening. It was such a delightful feeling and he discovered that he felt his own two rocks tightening after a while of her actions. She had helped him find them too just as she had said she would! Her bright blue eyes met his own bright blue ones and he suddenly felt himself unloading into her mouth.

"So good! So good!" Miss Lemon praised as she licked the last of the seed leaking from the slit she was finally relinquishing. "But what happened!"

She was looking at the now sleeping serpent in distress. "How's it supposed to slip inside of me now that it's all limp?"

"I daresay!" Hastings exclaimed. "Slip inside of where?"

"Here," the woman stated hopping to an empty space on the bed and spreading her legs wide. "This is my pot of gold! I spent all of my gold fixing your house up and playing your silly games! Your snake needs to enter me and spit its rainbow inside of me to make more gold so I can do the same tomorrow and the day after!"

"It does!" Arthur said. "And here I thought it was just a penis!"

Lemon shook her head back and forth. "No! But now it's all soft! How will it fit in here!"

Arthur gazed between the woman's legs and saw her pot but it did look rather empty. That was when he saw the enflamed little red nub above it. "Why! You have a little snake there too!" he exclaimed.

"Oh that's not a snake!" she cried. "That's my own game that I play!"

"What game do you play?" Hastings inquired.

She winked haughtily. "Watch and I'll show you!"

With her legs still spread she took the nub in her hand and started to rub it.

"Oohhhh!" she cried out.

Arthur watched in fascination as she toyed with the red, angry button until he felt himself growing very large and painfully hard again; so delighted by the sounds of her moans was he. When he saw some liquid spurt out of her pot, which was goldless, his penis popped fully up.

"It's not empty anymore!" he proclaimed. "Can you make more gold now?"

"No!" she said lustfully catching sight of his enlarged member once more. "I need _that_!"

"But I like watching you play with yourself," Arthur said, afraid of sticking his cock inside of the fairy's pot incase she was full of malarkey and it never came out again. "Or, better yet, how about you play with me!"

"No!" she snapped still rubbing her bud and leaking on to his bed. "Your snake in my pot! Now!"

And with a flash of movement she jumped onto his engorged dick, shoving it up her pot all on her own. At first, Arthur wanted to throw the nasty little fairy off of him until, after a bit of rolling around and her grinding her crotch against his, he realized it felt quite good!

As payback, however, he tried to shove it farther in but this only made her squeal out louder in approval. "Yes! Yes! Please do that some more!"

"Ufff uffff," Arthur grunted as he did, feeling her slender toes tracing the crack of his bottom.

They rolled around, moaning and gasping: one being enveloped and the other enveloping. Hastings wasn't sure where he began and Miss Lemon started but it was comforting. In fact, he hoped one day to imitate that famous picture of the snake consuming itself with her! My that would be nice!

His cock felt as if the pot was clenching it suddenly wildly after about an hour of rolling, thrusting and grinding. Suddenly he felt the strangest feeling.

"My rainbow! My rainbow is coming! I can feel it!"

With a violent spasm, Arthur Hastings felt himself spurting out something that felt slippery and glistening. When he had exited from out of Miss Lemon, Arthur tried to take a peek between her legs to see the gold being made but she slapped his hand.

"No! That will spoil it!" she scolded. "Now you must hold me and tell me what a very good girl I was so we can do this all again tomorrow!"

"Jolly good!" Arthur said and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

The next time it rained, Arthur made sure he followed the rainbow so he could thank the leprechaun for his gift of a pot of gold.

The little Belgian could still be found sitting there. This time he was trimming his moustache. " _Bonjour_!" the man greeted. " _Sacré bleu_! You look much improved! What on Earth has occurred?"

"I wish to thank you for the gift of Miss Lemon," Arthur Hastings exclaimed. "My home is well taken care of, my leisure time has improved and I've been getting the most marvelous night's sleep!"

"Really?" Poirot the leprechaun said in disbelief.

"Why yes!" Arthur said. "I put my snake in her pot all night until my rainbow shoots off and creates the gold in her pot! She's my pot of gold just like you said! It's simply marvelous! She's the most wonderful fairy in the world."

"Miss Lemon _n'est pas une fée_!" the round man said. "She is dirty minded little secretary that always complains about her typewriter, thinks she knows best, loves filing things and whom I kept around because she makes a décent tisane. I only told you that she was a pot of gold because I was tired of her! She is a witch's cauldron not a pot of gold!"

"Oh I know!" Arthur Hastings said, smiling widely. "But one man's black cauldron _is_ another man's pot of gold! Good day!"

And with that Arthur Hastings left the Belgian leprechaun behind, very confused, as he returned back to his cottage to shoot off his rainbow and create some more gold in Miss Lemon's pot.


	2. Chapter 2

Artwork requested by Susigolfin for "The Snake in a Pot of Gold that Ends with a Rainbow!"

Artwork by mosriteluv!

**Author's Note:**

> The song lyrics come from "Rainbow" cowritten by Hugh Fraser.


End file.
